i admit that i love you~我承认我爱上你了

“神秘的風,吹著你的長髮,今晚的你,依就讓我說不出口!!說不出口的那句我愛你,依然埋在我心底!!我是個沒勇氣的人,就這樣讓你從我眼前走過!!我是個沒勇氣的人,就這樣一次又一次的欺騙自己!!我希望的,期待的,等待的那一天,早已經看不見!!我會鼓起我的勇氣,大聲的對你說從前沒說的那句話,但其實你早已離我而去!!“ 那是你最甜蜜的诗。你写给我吗？从那天起，我已经爱上你了，但是我太没勇气，就不会承认，我爱上你了。。是我的错，是我不好，是我太笨。是我不了解自己，是我太威望。我破了那一切，是我不给你机会。虽然我还糊里糊涂你爱不爱我，但是心里决定要说：~我爱上你了~。我怎么啦？为什么太没勇气，就会废墟我们的愿望。对不起！但是我认为我错了，现在你已经离开了，再说就不会改变过去的一切。我很对不起你！对自己很失望！邓先生，我对你说：~我爱上你了~。。。

爱上了两个人！糟糕！LOVE 2 PEOPLE! OMG!

我好想念他。现在我很糊里糊涂，在同个时候我爱上了两个人。哎呀！糟糕了！其实，第二的男人，我还没决定我爱不爱他。但是，看他的时候我就觉得心跳跑得很快，也很高兴，让我眉开眼笑。他常常发短信给我，我也很快就回复他。在短信里，我会感受到他也喜欢我，他很关心我，很疼我。但是我好怕我的感觉错了！是我想太多。我明明知道我爱我的巧克力男生，但是我对他的感觉，我也不会拒绝！可能是因为我的巧克力男生做错了我就会爱上他吗？！是因为这样吗？我也不清楚！心里有两个男人让我非常麻烦！有时候想起来巧克力男生，有时候想起来他。我的选择很难来决定！我对第二个男生是爱情吗？还是钦佩他而已？ i miss him soo.now im very confuse. at the same time i love 2 people. OMG! BAD! the second boy, i even havent decided whether i love him or not.but, when i meet him i fell my heart throb is pumping very fast, i feel joyful, and beam with joy. he sends me message quite often, im also fast to reply him. in the message, i can feel that he likes me also, cares about me, and so loving me. but im afraid that my feeling is wrong, its me!who think in exaggeration. i.m absolutely know that i love my chocolate man, but my feeling to him is also undeniable. is it because that my chocolate man has done something wrong so i love him?is it?i'm also not so clear about it. in my heart i have 2 men that make me feel so bothered! at one time i remember my chocolate man, at one time i remember my second man. my choice is hard to make. my feeling to my second is it love?or only an admiration?

i'm soo disappointed~我很失望！

i heard everything that he did.he did the things that i don't like.he did it even at first he claimed that he didnt do it.i'm so disappointed.i thought he is different with other boys but actually he is just as bastard as the other boys who did it.eventhough not all people know it but i hope he wil be caught and regret his mistake.i know him.he wont do that if his friends dont tell him to do it!i detest his friend for all what they hve done to him.they turned him to someone with different personality.i adored him ,i admired him,i was his no one fans,he was my role model,he was my example of gentle man and mature man,but it changed !he did that and i hate him for what he had done!i never imagined it before that he could do it.he changed my opinion about him,he changed my point of view to him!he wasnt the perfect guy that i adored!he is just an ordinary bastard man that i never realized it! 我听了他做的事.他做了我最讨厌的事。他做了，虽然他一开始都不承认。我很失望.我认为他是不同的男孩，但是他是一样的混蛋男孩。即使不是所有的人知道他做的事，但是我希望他会被后悔发现然后了解他的错误.我了解他.他不会做，如果他的朋友不逼他做那件事! 我厌恨他的所有的朋友.他们改变了他，变陌生人。我崇拜他，我敬佩他，我是他的头号迷，他是我的榜样，他是柔和的人和成熟人的我的例子，但是他改变了! 他做了那件事，并且我恨什么的他做了! 我以前未曾想象的事他可能做！他改变了我对他的看法，他改变了我的观点到他! 他不是我崇拜的完善的人! 他是一个普通的混蛋的人我从来都不知觉!

SAD ENDING~不愉快的结果

it's over now! i hate him for his reason to choose her! i hate him for not being honest to me! why should he behave like those kind of things! i'm fed up of being a quiet girl who follows every single thing he wants to play! i played your game! and now it's the time for you to play mine! u even haven't known her for sure! u even haven't known me either! we used to be together as a perfect coupling, but now u destroy my heart, my hope, my happiness, even my brain!coz now my brain is full of ur name!u brainwashed me! i can't stay without u but i know i should go! i know i should leave you to ur own decision! i know she even don't care about ur feeling! it's the result for u! u never feel my feeling! in pain i cried alone, in pain i smiled alone, in pain i recalled u alone, in pain i saw u alone! even i couldn't be with you but my heart is still for you! in confusion of choosing you or that guy! i saw ur tears, for her it was just an ordinary tear, but for me, it was a huge sadness for you and I. your calm face, even don't want to say hello to me! when we met at the lobby! u just pretended to be as ignorant as u could be! but i know, u must be feeling the same way as i feel! i just wanna say I HATE YOU! but it was even thousands times harder than to solve the most complicated maths question! it is because i know i still love you!

现在完了! 我恨他因为他的原因选择她! 我恨他因为对我说谎话! 为什么应该做那些种类事! 我哺养了是跟随每一件事他想要使用的一个安静的女孩! 我打了您的比赛! 并且现在是您的时候演奏我的! 你甚而还没肯定已知她的!你甚而还没 已知的我二者之一! 我们曾经一起是作为一个完善的联结，但是你现在毁坏我的心脏，我的希望，我的幸福，甚而我的脑子! 因为现在我的脑子里，你的名字有很多! 你洗脑了我! 我无法 没有你的逗留，但是我知道我应该去! 我知道我应该留下您给您的决定! 我知道她甚而关于你感觉都没关心! 是你的结果! 你从未感觉我的感觉! 在痛苦中我在我单独微笑的痛苦中单独哭泣，在我召回单独你的痛苦中，在我看单独你的痛苦中!甚而我没办法与您，但是我的心脏仍然是为您! 在选择您或那个人混乱! 我看见了你的泪花，为了她它是一滴普通的泪花，但是为我，它是您和我的巨大的悲伤。您的镇静面孔，甚而不想要向我问好!当我们在大厅见面了! 你假装，一样无知的象你能是! 但是我知道， 你一定感觉和一样我感觉的方式! 我想要说我恨您! 但是是甚而数以万计时间艰苦比解决这最最复杂的算术问题! 是因为我知道i仍然爱您!

JEANNE~LEON~BAJAJ~KEVIN..刘爱圆~黄壹华~刘煊文~KEVIN

今天我和黄壹华，刘煊文，和KEVIN,一起去补习班。KEVIN接我们，我们在车里谈了很多事。从CINKO得事到我们班里的问题。我们有一样的想法，所以我觉得好容易跟他们相处。他们以前跟我不太熟悉。除了黄壹华和刘煊文。但是现在好像我们是一家人，谈了好久我们就能变得更熟悉。其实以前我和KEVIN也有问题。我们之间有一场误会。但是现在已经解决了。好高兴。赫赫。希望我们可以当永远的好朋友。 Today LEON, HENDY BAJAJ, with KEVIN and I, go to the tuition class together. KEVIN picked us up, we discussed a lots of things in the car. From the problem of CINKO until our class' problems. We have the same way of thought, therefore I thought that is easy to get along with them. Before they were not too familiar with me. Except LEON and HENDY BAJAJ. But nOW we feel like the whole families, after discussing for a long time we become more familiar. Actually before KEVIN and I also has a problem. Between us had a misunderstanding. But it is already solved now. So happy. Hoped we may work as good friends forever.

SCHOOL~TA~HOME..学校~TA~家

现在我觉得好累。早上的时候我已经迟到去学校了，但是，幸好我的老师没有发现我是迟到的。好幸运，虽然今天有很重要的考试，IGCSE, 但是我没有那么迟到所以还来得及去考。在考试的时候我承认我没有什么准备，好像是乱乱地作。希望他们还能给我分级。心里好怕，因为如果没有得到A*的话，好丢脸。因为这是印尼文的考试，我是印尼人，说是印尼话。如果不及格的话好伤心。真倒霉。然后回家的时候我去TA,其实我有补习但是今天不知道为什么好懒惰。时间还来得及，但是我就选择跟妈妈去美发厅。不知道要毕业的时候不就变得很努力但是变得很懒惰。帮帮我！！ now i'm very tired. in the morning i was late to go to school, but, luckily the teachers did not find me. so lucky, although today there was a very important test, IGCSE, but i was not late until i have no time to do it. in the test, i admit that i dont have any preparations, seems to be careless work. i hope that they will still give me marks on it. i'm so afraid, because if i dont get an A*, i will be so embarassed. Because, this is BAHASA INDONESIA TEST, i'm an indonesian, i speak bahasa. if i dont pass this subject, i'll be so melancholic. it's a badluck. after that i went to TA, actually i have tuition but i dont know that today i am very lazy. there was still time, but i chose to go to salon with my mom. i dont know it is almost graduating but i dont make it more dilligent but more lazy. help me!!

HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 好棒！！

刚才我在PLAZA SENAYAN的电影院看一部电影，叫HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL．那部电影好棒，其是我从来没看过它的第一和第二部分，但是看了这部，我好喜欢。男和女主角好适合。男的好帅，女的好美。真的给我一个惊喜因为从来我不喜欢它。很活泼的音乐，很感动的故事，很好的表演，都让我忘不了这部电影。我很要看到它的第四部分，哈哈。好想我爱上了ＺＡＣ　ＥＦＲＯＮ．他是真得很帅。哦哦，他的笑容让我要哭！嗬嗬　　Ｊｕｚ　ｎｏｗ　ｉ＇ｍ　ａｔ　ＰＬＡＺＡ　ＳＥＮＡＹＡＮ　ｗａｔｃｈｅｄ　ａ　ｆｉｌｍ，　ｃａｌｌｅｄ　ＨＩＧＨ　ＳＣＨＯＯＬ　ＭＵＳＩＣＡＬ．Ｔｈａｔ　ｍｏｖｉｅ　ｗａｓ　ｖｅｒｙ　ｃｏｏｌ，　ａｃｔｕａｌｌｙ　ｉ　ｈａｖｅｎｔ　ｗａｔｃｈｅｄ　ｉｔｓ　ｆｉｒｓｔ　ａｎｄ　ｓｅｃｏｎｄ　ｓｅｑｕｅｌ．　ｂｕｔ　ａｆｔｅｒ　Ｉ　ｗａｔｃｈｅｄ　ｔｈｉｓ　ｍｏｖｉｅ，　ｉ　ｗａｓ　ｒｅａｌｌｙ　ｌｉｋｅ　ｉｔ！Ｔｈｅ　ｍａｉｎ　ａｃｔｏｒ　ａｎｄ　ａｃｔｒｅｓｓ　ｗａｓ　ｖｅｒｙ　ａｄｏｒａｂｌｅ．　Ｔｈｅ　ｍａｎ　ｉｓ　ｈａｎｄｓｏｍｅ，　ｔｈｅ　ｗｏｍａｎ　ｉｓ　ｇｏｒｇｅｏｕｓ．　Ｉｔ　ｗａｓ　ｒｅａｌｌｙ　ｇｉｖｉｎｇ　ｍｅ　ａ　ｓｈｏｃｋ　ｂｅｃａｕｓｅ　Ｉ　ｄｉｄｎｔ　ｌｉｋｅ　ｉｔ　ｂｅｆｏｒｅ．　Ａｎ　ａｌｉｖｅ　ｍｕｓｉｃ，　ａ　ｔｏｕｃｈｉｎｇ　ｓｔｏｒｙｌｉｎｅ，　ａ　ｃｏｎｖｉｎｃｉｎｇ　ａｃｔｉｎｇ，　ａｌｌ　ｒｅａｌｌｙ　ｍａｄｅ　ｔｈｉｓ　ｍｏｖｉｅ　ａ　ｍｅｍｏｒａｂｌｅ　ｍｏｖｉｅ　ｆｏｒ　ｍｅ．　Ｉ＇ｍ　ｒｅａｌｌｙ　ｌｏｏｋｉｎｇ　ｆｏｒ　ｉｔｓ　ｔｈ　ｓｅｑｕｅｌ．　Ｉ　ｔｈｉｎｋ　Ｉ＇ｍ　ｉｎ　ｌｏｖｅ　ｗｉｔｈ　ＺＡＣ　ＥＦＲＯＮ．　Ｈｅ　ｉｓ　ｓｏ　ｃｈａｒｍｉｎｇ．Ｈｉｓ　ｓｍｉｌｅ　ｒｅａｌｌｙ　ｍａｄｅ　ｍｅ　ｃｒｙｉｎｇ！

好闷心。。

今天虽然没有什么伤心的事情发生但是我觉得好闷心。刚才我在DINAR餐厅庆祝我哥的生日。然后我们一家人去MEGAMAL，我高兴因为我买了可南桢探的新本。但是突然我记得去WoM检查一下周杰伦新的专辑来了吗，他们说买好了，哎呀，突然我的心情好乱，不能说话了，一直都想起来周杰伦的专辑，因为我怕不能得到专辑里的品子。好怕。我就订一下。但是还不知道什么时候才来到印尼。我觉得好倒霉住在印尼，买周杰伦的光碟好难。要等好久才能买到。哎呀！天啊！不知道该怎么做的。哎呀！我心里在想好多事。考试的事，学业的事，周杰伦的事，感情的事，等等。朋友们帮我吧！！ today even though there was nothing unhappy happened but i feel so melancholy. just now at DINAR restaurant i celebrated my bro's birthday. after that we went to MEGAMAL, i felt so happy tat i bought the new edition of DETECTIVE CONAN comic book. but suddenly i remember to go to WoM to check whether the new album of JAY CHOU is released or not. they said it is sold out, OMG, suddenly i felt my mood was kinda in chaos. i couldn't speak any words, always remember JAY CHOU's album, coz i was afraid that i wont get the merchandise that are inside the album. so frightened. i just order one. but they still blur when is the cd will arive in Indonesia. i felt so unlucky to saty in Indonesia, buy JAYCHOU's cd is very difficult, i need to wait for a long time so I can get it. OMG! i dont know what should I do! OH GOD! in my heart i'm thinking a lot of things. about exams, about school, about JAY CHOU, about feeling, etc. Friends please kindly help me!